SPOILERS M1R Story Development Thread

[General-RADIX]

Radix - I'll pm you. Also, the first two (boring) pages of the term have been moved to a new location:

OK, got it sent. I'll try editing the first two pics later.

[ravenshining]

From the commentary thread, two or three new terminal ideas!

I think it would fit the atmosphere to have a BoB write a terrified log report of how he witnessed his friend Micheal getting crushed by the wave's malfunction (does this mean Radix gets to draw more anime? How well can he draw a terrified BoB who just saw their friend get crushed in a "malfunction"?).

Why are the lifts mechanically capable of crushing people in the first place? Perhaps this was part of Strauss's plan to mess with Durandal, giving him control of safety-compromised equipment...

I think another long, boring terminal describing elevators and platforms could be worked into this or an earlier level, with a note saying that due to budget cuts, mechanical safetys were not installed in favour of tasking Durandal with making sure all platforms operate safely.

Any writers interested? Radix, are you up for a horrified, blood-spattered BoB who's just seen his comrade crushed by a supposedly benign lift?

[General-RADIX]

Radix, are you up for a horrified, blood-spattered BoB who's just seen his comrade crushed by a supposedly benign lift?

I can give it a shot! Though, this time I'd like to try working with a pre-made BG that's only about 614 x 532 (twice the size of a normal terminal pict), to see if my lines will handle being shrunk down a little better.

(Also wrt: something in the other thread: didn't realize I was firing things off too fast, sorry. ^^; I'll try and limit it to one at a time in the future)

[philtron]

I have some free time today. I can try to whip up some rough drafts of two terminals. 1) BoBs eye witness account of a friend being crushed by the Wave. 2) A terminal discussing platforms and doors, including an explanation for why they hurt people (possible explanations: Durandal is messing with them, safety mechanisms are deemed unnecessary with Durandal controlling them, S'pht intrusion is messing with them, people aren't actually supposed to ride them and they are mostly used for cargo, they're designed for a specific height person and the player character is actually too tall [I like this last one especially because it's exactly the type of assumption that sometimes creeps into tech design]).

[ravenshining]

Awesome, thank you both!

I can give it a shot! Though, this time I'd like to try working with a pre-made BG that's only about 614 x 532 (twice the size of a normal terminal pict), to see if my lines will handle being shrunk down a little better.

(plays level for a while to figure terminal placement)

2) A terminal discussing platforms and doors, including an explanation for why they hurt people (possible explanations: Durandal is messing with them, safety mechanisms are deemed unnecessary with Durandal controlling them, S'pht intrusion is messing with them, people aren't actually supposed to ride them and they are mostly used for cargo, they're designed for a specific height person and the player character is actually too tall [I like this last one especially because it's exactly the type of assumption that sometimes creeps into tech design]).

The last explanation would require changes to the level geometry, and wouldn't work with the BoB getting crushed. A technical document would probably include the bit about safety mechanisms being too expensive, whereas Durandal and the S'pht messing with them would be the unforseen consequence that the BoB figures out the hard way.

[ravenshining]

I can give it a shot! Though, this time I'd like to try working with a pre-made BG that's only about 614 x 532 (twice the size of a normal terminal pict), to see if my lines will handle being shrunk down a little better.

(plays level for a while to figure terminal placement)

Okay, here it is right this time:

[General-RADIX]

Alright! I'll get started sometime tomorrow, hopefully.

(Also, I've got some ideas wrt: what the situation's like at the conclusion of the various planks. Share Y/N? I don't imagine they'd take too long to describe, as they're subject to revision)

[philtron]

The last explanation would require changes to the level geometry, and wouldn't work with the BoB getting crushed. A technical document would probably include the bit about safety mechanisms being too expensive, whereas Durandal and the S'pht messing with them would be the unforseen consequence that the BoB figures out the hard way.

I don't think it would require changes to the level geometry. We could rely on the audiences suspension of disbelief plus say that some crewmembers get hurt, but some don't because they're shorter: like a class action lawsuit from taller crewmembers stating that the Marathon was designed for Martian physiologies which are slightly smaller due to Mars' lower gravity.

But it's cool, I think I'll focus on the idea that Durandal was responsible for controlling the safety of doors and platforms. Perhaps its not even a money thing; maybe it was like an PR thing, being able to claim that the Marathon's mechanisms are controlled by a top class AI makes it more marketable.

I'll start working on these now. But let me know your thoughts if you want me to go in a different direction.

[HelviusRufus]

Or, someone might wonder (but not too loudly if they want to keep on wondering) how a person could own a 50 acre orbital pleasure park on an UESC Grade 6 Safety Inspector's salary. Just Sayin.

[philtron]

Okay, I've got the terminals written. I'm not terribly happy, but they are rough drafts. I'm assuming you'll just change anything you don't like. If you want me to rewrite anything, let me know.

Here is the first terminal. It's the eye witness account a BoB has seeing their friend die in the Wave. Anything in [[brackets]] is editorial, me explaining something and is not meant to appear in the terminal.

Spoiler:

To anyone reading this, Cargo Lift #B7 (Staggered) is malfunctioning [[there is a lift on this level in a nearby room called "Lift #A7"]]. I'm going update the map system to help warn anyone who misses this terminal.

Okay, I'm trying to attach a warning ticket to the lift and someone renamed it "the Wave"?? What the hell is going on?

This has got to be deliberate. Someone must have tampered with. I mean that's what it did when Javan died. It rolled her up into the ceiling like a... a wave.

We were trying to get to the Vacuum Chamber controls so we could hole up with some MA ammo, [[near the top of the lift the player finds some MA ammo, hence this reference; you could change this to any other item depending on how you alter the map]] but then the cargo lift went crazy. It would have been easy to tamper with the lift now that Durandal is MIA, but why would anyone do this? To defend against the aliens? Whoever did this, whatever their reason, they killed her.

I don't know if I'm going to risk going up myself. I don't think I have the agility to survive that. Javan's blood is actually dripping from the ceiling. I can't look at her body. I don't know what I'm going to do.

Okay so here is the second that is more of a dry historical document that ultimately explains why platforms and doors can hurt the player. I'm not too happy with this one, but here it is:

Spoiler:

{{~~~``xtttxx~~~`~wwww7~~eimos into the Marathon continued so did the unrest and resentment on Mars. In a tone deaf attempt to spin positive PR, the administration behind Marathon's construction announced that the colony ship would be outfitted with three top-of-the-line AI. This backfired in two ways. First, it was viewed as the Earth government once again flaunting their wealth and power in the face of Martian poverty. Second, there was an immediate call from Martian citizens asking for these AI to be installed on the planet's computer networks to help build the colony back up to healthy standards. This was suggested with the understanding that the AI would be transferred to the Marathon once its construction was completed.

However, this demand was refused as the Martian computer network posed a Rampancy risk due to its size and lack of safeg$$$$$$..as9as....#^^)):}}{____

((~t---Be---rauss&&&HRR**SS#&&1i1901ne of the touted features was placing Durandal in total control of mechanical equipment such as platforms, lifts, and doors. The claim was that with Durandal overseeing these things there would be no need for safety features or typical diagnostic software.

In addition to this, Durandal would make it possible to have modifiable platforms with multiple states. As an example, an engineer could step onto a cargo platform and Durandal would raise the platform at a comfortable speed and bring it to an exact stop. Alternatively, someone could place cargo on that same platform and Durandal could raise the platform at a much higher speed and to a height that would give a person a concussion, but which would bring the cargo up to chest height for easy unloading.

While touted by the administration as a user friendly time saver, it was heavily criticized for being unnecessary and ultimately dangerous. Engineers and maintenance staff pointed out that if anything happened to Durandal, or to his connection to the network, that the equipment would become unusable at best and fatal at worst. There were some allegations that the administration was just doing this to pocket the money that would have been spent on safety features.

In response, the Marathon's administration claimed the complaints were just fear mongering and resentment due to a lack of understanding of current AI technology. A statement was made that there was no chance for system failure, and if anything did happen to Durandal that the other two Marathon AI could take over his duties with little affect on their processing load.

Ultimately a compromise was reached, and while Durandal was still placed in control of Marathon's mechanical equipment, many doors and lifts were built with additional safety features and hardware overrides.

Anyway, there's that.

Also, I was thinking about that terminal I wrote for G4 Sunbathing; the one where the technician is trapped by Durandal. Should that terminal maybe be hidden, like an easter egg? That way Durandal's reveal later in the game comes as more of a surprise, the way it was originally intended?

[General-RADIX]

Hey Raven, terminal pic's done; when you can, check your e-mail.

[ravenshining]

Nice work, both of you.

I might switch things about in the first term, for dramatic effect, and hide some of the ending of the second behind garbage text.

Spoiler:

J-Javen's dead. We were trying to get to the Vacuum Chamber controls so we could hole up with some MA ammo, but then the cargo lift went crazy...

Anyone reading this, Cargo Lift #B7 (Staggered) is malfunctioning. I'm going update the map system to help warn anyone who misses this terminal... Wait, someone's already been in here. They renamed it "the Wave"?? What the hell is going on?

This has got to be deliberate. Someone must have tampered with... I mean that's what it did when Javan died. It rolled her up into the ceiling like a... a wave.

I've heard Durandal has gone Rampant, but why would anyone do *this*? To defend against the aliens? Whoever did this, whatever their reason, they killed her.

I don't know if I'm going to risk going up myself. I don't think I have the agility to survive that. Javan's blood is actually dripping from the ceiling. I can't look at her body. I don't know what I'm going to do.

Spoiler:

{{~~~``xtttxx~~~`~wwww7~~eimos into the Marathon continued so did the unrest and resentment on Mars. In a tone deaf attempt to spin positive PR, the administration behind Marathon's construction announced that the colony ship would be outfitted with three top-of-the-line AI. This backfired in two ways. First, it was viewed as the Earth government once again flaunting their wealth and power in the face of Martian poverty. Second, there was an immediate call from Martian citizens asking for these AI to be installed on the planet's computer networks to help build the colony back up to healthy standards. This was suggested with the understanding that the AI would be transferred to the Marathon once its construction was completed.

However, this demand was refused as the Martian computer network posed a Rampancy risk due to its size and lack of safeg$$$$$$..as9as....#^^)):}}{____

((~t---Be---rauss&&&HRR**SS#&&1i1901ne of the touted features was placing Durandal in total control of mechanical equipment such as platforms, lifts, and doors. The claim was that with Durandal overseeing these things there would be no need for mechanical safety features or diagnostic software, resulting in extensive savings from the Marathon's construction budget.

Having Durandal in control would make it possible to have lifts automatically adjust to various loads for maximum efficiency. As an example, an engineer could step onto a cargo lift and Durandal would raise the lift at a comfortable speed and bring it to an exact stop two metres below the ceiling. Alternatively, someone could place cargo on that same lift and Durandal could raise the platform at a much higher rate of speed to one metre below ceiling height for easy unloading.

%^~~~ touted by the administration as a user friendly time saver, i* *a* **-v-l- --i/i//z/d--+r b i g+ ++ec+**a/y// //ul`i`` `` ``a`g```u`::engineers and maintenance staff pointed out that if anything happened to Durandal, or to his connection to the network, that the equipment would become unusable at best and fatal at worst.

==-r--p-9s90-t---M--a09on'*-a**-n+s+*a/i// /l/i/-+ +h+ 1o``l1i``22w2r4 44s4 fe44 4ong-r=-= =n&&resentment due to a lack of understanding of current AI technolo-=-=-=-=a--m-n--w-s -+d+ +++t9t--r+ +a++no_chanCe of system failure, and/-f+a+y+h++g-d-+ +a-+e/ *8 59+a*d*5 5h9* t*e**-h=r=t--=M=r=-h==-A00c=-l= =-k=--0090h-9 9u--0s--i0h9little affect on t-*-r*-r+cessing load.

~!@~!#~#~!!!!!!!~~~~~~!!~!~!!!!!!!!!@}}}{!fatal error>
<terminating connection>

As for the G4 term, I don't see why it should be secret. You learn that Durandal is damaged in Bigger Guns Nearby, that he's operational on Defend THIS!, that he's gone Rampant on Couch Fishing. If you read the Durandal's secret term on The Rose, you see for yourself he's gone completely batshit crazy.

I think providing these terms of what he's done to the BoBs on G4 and Cool Fusion provides good foreshadowing, and heightens your sense of danger when you are subsequently abducted by him. This way, when you check in on Blaspheme Quarantine, it's less of a "Great, this computer is annoying and getting in my way" and more of a "Oh no I may become the next victim of this computer."

That said, it might appeal to veteran players more if they were secret. But given the Old Guard's expressed attitude over in the commentary thread, they don't like anything we're doing and don't want to help, so I see no reason to appease them.

[General-RADIX]

Nice work, both of you.

No problem. ^^

--

Unrelated: potential, partial outline for the "worst ending" plank. It's a bit long.

Spoiler:

Not sure what's planned for it as of now beyond "everyone's dead", but I feel like the first sign of trouble would be the SO abruptly losing contact with Durandal (who's presumably guiding you for most of the "bad ending" plank), with implications that something attacked him. Leela and Tycho both fell to the S'pht, so the player might assume that they got around to incapacitating Durandal as well.

After this happens, someone else contacts the SO--it's Volker von Muller. Circumstances have forced him to barricade himself in a surveillance control room; with all three AIs unavailable, he's trying to fill the void, so to speak, and also not have a nervous meltdown. For a while, Volker helps the SO fight off both the Pfhor and MIDA, while sharing what he knows of the situation from a couple months before (basically, he doesn't know much about MIDA but was aware of some weird stuff going on with the people around him).

In the middle of one conversation, there are deafening bangs at the door as if someone's trying to break in; the human voices outside sound like they have malicious intent. Volker's forced to flee through another door; somewhere along the way he manages to send a short message to the SO to look for a jump pad in the next sector that will take them where Volker's headed, if all goes well. If he can elude these intruders, he might be able to leave some additional info on the terminals in the area.

The player runs through the next level reading terminals displaying historical documents, panicked bits of crew chatter, error messages, and/or pure garbage text--but not a single message from Volker.

Next level, they find out why.

The first terminal the SO logs onto isn't from Volker. It's of Volker, though, handcuffed to a chair and with multiple bullet wounds in his torso. Someone mockingly asks the SO if they were getting anxious to hear from Volker again; the free-standing camera attached to the terminal swings around to reveal Dr. Bernhard Strauss.

As he explains, Durandal wasn't jumped by the S'pht--that was Strauss's doing. Durandal's still alive, but with most of his autonomous functions overridden so that he's forced to serve MIDA once again, his unknown task of raising chaos on the Marathon taken care of. As for Volker, well--that thorn in Struass's side has been extracted.

To sum up, the SO's last real ally is dead and Strauss is calling the shots now.

--

Bonus bit of maybe-dialogue. Stuff in brackets is stage directions.

[Something following that plot twist above]

"...by the way. [Strauss holds up a pistol that looks no different from any other the SO's used] Your inconsiderate raiding of our weapons caches forced me to scrounge around a bit. By good fortune, I was nearby when this was knocked out of Mjolnir Recon 54's hand--or 'Callahan', as you know him.

Do you ever look into the guns you're issued? This is a .45 Magnum Mega Class, the most widely-distributed Martian firearm to date. Excellent accuracy, works well in vacuum. Most of the ones in circulation on this ship were what we'd collected from the battlefields.

von Muller didn't care about any of that, only who I'd gotten this one from. He demanded to know what interest I had in number 54, if I had anything to do with those non-standard implants of his--von Muller was so enraged that he nearly snapped those cuffs right off. A pity he had to do that."

(Explanation: Vince Callahan and Volker knew each other in my AU. Maybe near the end of the plank, there's a hidden terminal of Vince learning what happened and going ballistic on some MIDA goons...)

[philtron]

But given the Old Guard's expressed attitude over in the commentary thread, they don't like anything we're doing and don't want to help, so I see no reason to appease them.

Haha, they're always so cranky.

Anyway, I'll polish up that first terminal with your suggestions in mind and repost it.

The second terminal I think I'll have to do some rewrites; I just read the terminal about "Doors" on "Bigger Guns Nearby" and I'd like my terminal to fit more in line with what is "canon" in the M1 story. E.g.: in "Doors" they mention that some doors have expensive thermal and visual sensors so Durandal can detect what's going on; might be a good idea to acknowledge that sort of thing in my terminal as well.

[philtron]

Here's the revised terminal for the Wave. I went with the BoB not knowing Durandal is Rampant. I think thsi makes more sense that a lowly BoB wouldn't have heard of this yet, and also adds some dramatic tension since the reader know's why Javan died but the BoB does not.

Spoiler:

Javan's dead. We were trying to get to Chamber controls with some MA ammo, and then the lift went crazy.

To anyone reading this, Cargo Lift #B7 (Staggered) is malfunctioning. I was going to update the map system to warn people, but... someone renamed the it "the Wave". That's got to be deliberate. That's got to be sabotage.

We were loading the lift like usual and then it just rolled up on Javan like a... a wave. Smashed her right against the ceiling.

I know Durandal has disappeared, but this lift had fallback software in case he became disconnected. Could someone have done this to defend against the aliens? Whatever their reason, whoever did this, they killed her.

Javan's blood is dripping from the ceiling. I can't look at her body. I don't think I'm going to risk using the lift myself. I don't know if I'm going to make it.

Here is an alternate version of a terminal discussing why platforms can crush the player, although I didn't think of a way to bring up cost without it being worded strangely. It's designed to mimic the "Doors" terminal on "Bigger Guns".

Spoiler:

Marathon Internal Engineering Documents
Section 1-c Appendix H

Subject: Platforms (Lifts and Elevators)
By: Estasia Orestes, Ursa Simbalzi, Yelen Lasa

While there are many types of platforms in terms of purpose (light crew elevator, heavy cargo lift, light cargo lift, vehicle repair platform, etc.), in terms of engineering there are two main types of platforms, hard schedule and soft schedule.

Hard schedule platforms are those whose speed and min/max height are mechanically determined by the hardware of the platform. There is no way to modify their behavior. Soft schedule platforms are those platforms whose speed and min/max height can be modified by technicians or by Durandal. The hardware of soft schedule platforms is designed to be capable of multiple states with no hard locks.

Without proper supervision by Durandal or a qualified technician, a soft schedule platform could rise high enough to crush cargo or a crewmember against the ceilling; alternatively it could sink low enough to bring cargo or crewmembers deep into the floor for storage. This is why the use and adjustment of soft schedule platforms must be performed, tested, and monitored by Durandal or a qualified technician.

All platforms are overseen digitally by Durandal, with Durandal having direct control over soft schedule platforms. All platforms also are installed with rudimentary safety software in the case of catastrophic system failure that puts Durandal and the Marathon's network offline. Additionally, hard schedule platforms are outfitted with physical safety measures in case of mechanical failure. Soft schedule platforms do not require dedicated mechanical safety features and are slightly less expensive individually, and significantly less expensive when built in large numbers.

In addition to having digital access to platforms, Durandal will also have thermal and visual spectrum sensor to survey platforms in sensitive or secure areas. Visual confirmation of user will be required for Durandal to give access. Because of Durandal's supervision, minimal security presence will be required in these areas.

This article as well as articles 531-b and 532-g on doors and windows respectively will be placed for public access in the Marathon Internal Engineering Documents section 1-c appendix H.

We could use this engineering article on platforms, or the historical one I posted last time, or both. Whatever you think is best.

[ravenshining]

Unrelated: potential, partial outline for the "worst ending" plank. It's a bit long.

I really like the idea of Durandal going down and you being in the hands of a human and / or Strauss. I'm still a ways a way from working on that to make any plot decisions.

Under no circumstances do I want the player to be identified by anything other than "security officer," "Mjolnir Recon 54," or "conditioned unit."

My personal preference for a horror ending:

Spoiler:

Welcome to the conditioned ranks. Your neural organ has been bonded to a cyber-organic control unit to ensure your obedience to our directives in service to the Hindmost Crèche.

We have gleaned from your former machinated overseer the location of your homeworld, "Mars," and will be folding into orbit momentarily...

We could use this engineering article on platforms, or the historical one I posted last time, or both. Whatever you think is best.

I think we'll have both - the engineering document being in public view with a compiler reading it, and the history term in a secret.

Some edits. I liked a lot of the wording on your first attempt of the Javan term, so I mixed it up a bit. Also, I'm having BoB-authored terms in white text, for distinction.

Spoiler:

/-/Audio-Transcript-Text-Display/-/

Javan... she's dead. We were trying to get to the Vacuum Chamber controls so we could hole up with some MA ammo, when the cargo lift went crazy.

To anyone recieving this, Cargo Lift #B7 (Stairway) is malfunctioning. I'm going update the map system to help warn anyone who misses this terminal. Wait, someone's already... renamed it "the Wave!?" What the hell is going on?

That's got to be deliberate. That's got to be sabotage. Javan stepped onto the lift and it just rolled up on her like a... a wave. Smashed her right into the ceiling.

I've heard Durandal is having outages, but this lift shouldn't have worked at all if he was offline! Why would anyone do this? To defend against the aliens? Whoever did this, whatever their reason, they killed her.

Javan's blood is dripping from the ceiling. I can't look at her body. I can't risk using the lift myself. I don't know if I'm going to make it.

<audio recording terminated>

Spoiler:

<Unauthorized access-alarm 9815->
<Security Breached 7961-j<59.678.12.3>-

Marathon Internal Engineering Documents
Section 1-c Appendix H

Subject: Platforms, Lifts, and Elevators
By: Estasia Orestes, Ursa Simbalzi, and Yelen Lasa
Date:<2402.03.28.18.11>

While there are many types of platforms in terms of purpose (light crew elevator, retractable stairway, heavy cargo lift, light cargo lift, vehicle repair platform, etc.) and technology (hydraulic, steam, electromagnetic induction, mechanical, vacuum, gravitic, etc.) in terms of control engineering there are two main types of platforms, hard schedule and soft schedule.

Hard schedule platforms are those whose speed and extents are mechanically determined by the hardware of the platform. Their behavior may not be modified save by an emergency stop. Soft schedule platforms are those platforms whose speed and extents can be modified by technicians or by Durandal. The hardware of soft schedule platforms is designed to be capable of multiple states with no hard locks.

Without proper supervision by Durandal or a qualified technician, a soft schedule platform may rise high enough to crush cargo or crewmember against the ceiling, or sink low enough to bring cargo or crewmembers irretrievably deep into the floor. This is why the use and adjustment of soft schedule platforms must be performed, tested, and monitored by Durandal or a qualified technician.

All platforms are overseen digitally by Durandal, with Durandal having direct control over soft schedule platforms. Should Durandal be down for maintenance, soft schedule platforms are programmed with rudimentary safe operation software. Additionally, hard schedule platforms are outfitted with physical safety measures in case of mechanical failure. As soft schedule platforms do not require dedicated mechanical safety features, they are significantly less expensive than hard schedule platforms and shall be installed in preference to them whenever possible.

In addition to having digital access to platforms, Durandal will also have thermal and visual spectrum sensor to survey platforms in sensitive or secure areas. With these sensors, Durandal will be able to differentiate between a crewmember requiring transport, cargo to be brought low for storage, recyclables to be crushed, etc.. Visual confirmation of user will be required for Durandal to give access. Because of Durandal's supervision, minimal security presence will be required in these areas.

This article as well as articles 530-f and 531-b on windows and doors respectively will be placed for public access in the Marathon Internal Engineering Documents section 1-c appendix H.
<Spurious Interrupt- BreachDisabled>
<Further Access Denied>

[philtron]

Cool, looks good. I wasn't sure which way to go with the Javan terminal, but I'm glad you were able to combine all three versions together.

I like the "supervision" reference in the engineering terminal. I never would have thought of it, but it's a great addition that intertwines game mechanics and world building.

If there's anything else you need from me let me know.

[General-RADIX]

Under no circumstances do I want the player to be identified by anything other than "security officer," "Mjolnir Recon 54," or "conditioned unit."

Apropos of little: if Strauss is encountered in the neutral/canon-based route, maybe his slip-up isn't him calling the SO by name, but by their recon number. Something the SO would (hopefully) find bizarre in-universe, and difficult to explain away.

(Though, that raises the question of how Durandal would react. My interpretation was that he was forced to work for MIDA as a whole, not just Strauss, and while he had no hand in battleroid-making, he still had to organize the relevant data for them--but I'unno how similar your take would be)

[ravenshining]

I put up a poll regarding the terminal pictures. I've been trying to keep it green for Leela and Marathon terms so that when you visit the Pfhor it's more of a contrast. And, greenscale is fastest to work with. But, with the latest art from Radix, I'm awfully tempted to introduce red:

1658.gif (50.39 KiB) Viewed 8112 times

1658-alternate.gif (47.97 KiB) Viewed 8112 times

[General-RADIX]

Hm...the second one feels like it'd be more of a shock to unsuspecting players; if that's the route you go down, I'd add some red/orange video artifacting to make it look more natural/like a glitch of some sort.

[Pfhorrest]

I vote just green, no color.

Also, awesome art RADIX

[CluckyInventor]

I wouldn't want to break the greenscale theme that much... maybe if you follow Radix's suggestion to make it look less out of place to have the red, or if you make it mostly green but 10% of red also stays... I'd play around some, but it does look kind of odd to have the glaring red as is.

[Wrkncacnter]

Don't care about colors, but I am curious what that terminal pic is supposed to be, and if it's really going into to M1R. The cartoony looking person doesn't fit the art style of any of the people shown in the terminals for the original series, so it'd look extremely out of place, IMO.

[PerseusSpartacus]

For once, I have to agree with Wrkncacnter - that particular art style would be quite out of place. Yes Marathon's art style is cartoony in a way, but it's not exactly anime, and I think suddenly throwing in anime-style artwork would severely damage the suspension of disbelief. The terminal art of the original games fit in really well because it followed the same style as the in-game art, just with more detail; I think you would do well to heed that lesson.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's a very good piece of art - I love the expression. I just think using that style would detract from the immersion too much.

[General-RADIX]

(Thanks, Forrest. ^^)

Don't care about colors, but I am curious what that terminal pic is supposed to be, and if it's really going into to M1R.

It's for a terminal where one BoB witnessed another get crushed against the ceiling, and he was close enough that he got sprayed with blood. He's meant to be leaning against the wall the terminal's in for support.

As for comments on my art style...not yet sure how to respond. :/